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Self-Determination and Children with Disabilities
Reviewed July 2025
Self-determination is the belief that all people have the right to control their own lives and make choices for their future.
As parents and caregivers, we often see our role as protecting our children and keeping them safe from harm. Yet, by making every decision for them, or by assuming they can’t make choices for themselves, we’re not allowing our children to practice self-determination. This skill has long-term benefits. Research shows that youth who have strong self-determination skills have a better chance of being successful in making the transition to adulthood, including employment and independence.
“Self-Determination means making your own choices, speaking up when you’re not happy about something, having control over your own life, being willing to try new things, figuring out what you do and don’t like, asking for help when you need it, knowing the whole story, and, taking responsibility for your decisions.” (Winnick and Bear, 2003)
Developing Self-Determination Skills
The best way for children to learn new skills is to practice them and know that they will be supported if mistakes are made. Learning self-determination skills takes time so begin practice when your child is young and continuing through adulthood.
Tip for Families
It’s never too early (or too late) to start practicing self-determination skills with your child.
Self-determination, along with making choices and decisions, are learned skills. As with all learned skills, the skill may need to be broken down into smaller steps, with one learned skill building upon another. Remember that all learning takes time. Be patient with yourself and your child.
How Families Can Support and Promote Self-Determination
Encouragement and Practice
Starting when our children are young, we can encourage them to practice self-determination by giving them opportunities to make their own choices. Let them decide what to wear or what to have for a snack and progress to longer-lasting decisions like which classes to take in high school. Children can also benefit from taking part in meetings where their skills, abilities and successes are being shared, such as at Individual Education Plan (IEP) meeting or when meeting with your child’s Children’s Long-Term Support (CLTS) Program service coordinator to create a service plan. When children are ready, you can work with their schools to include them in conversations about employment, housing, recreational and community programs. Young adults will find that this prepares them with the information and experiences they need to make self-determined choices about their future.
Peer Mentoring
An important way to help our children with disabilities explore their future options is to connect with others who have lived it successfully and become more independent. This is sometimes called peer mentoring. If your child is enrolled in the CLTS Program, peer mentoring can be part of their service plan. Your child’s school staff may be able to help make this connection. For youth closer to graduation who want to connect with employment related peer mentors, contact your local Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR) representative.
Promoting Self Determination: Tips for Families
Following are ideas to support and encourage children’s self-determination skills:
Model Expectations
- Model the expectations that your child is competent in and has the same rights as children without disabilities.
- Ask providers and other professionals to speak directly to your child.
- Expect the same full community life as you would for a child without a disability.
Offer Choices
- Give choices about clothing, meals, social activities, family events and other daily decisions.
- Involve children in school, health and related decisions in ways that are meaningful to them.
- Provide information in ways that are right for your child and give them enough time to respond.
Explore Possibilities
- Have your child explore the community often through outings, books and community events.
- Talk with your child about their future the same way you would with a typically developing child.
Practice Self Advocacy and Self Awareness
- Talk to your child about their disability or health conditions.
- Help your child practice talking with others about their health conditions or accommodation needs.
- Find opportunities for your child to practice self-advocacy and leadership skills at school, in your house of faith, with friends and through community organizations or other programs.
Develop Goal Setting and Planning
- Teach your child how to set goals and talk about how to plan for future wants and needs. For example, explain how your family saved up for something new for the house.
- Visualize the steps needed to meet goals using road maps or other picture charts.
Learn to be Okay with Risk Taking*
- Think of ways to slowly and safely move out of your own comfort zone. This could look like letting your child attend a school event with another family member or a respite provider.
- Make a list of the new activities, or ‘risks,’ that you are okay with your child trying and consider the benefits and consequences of each one.
- Be patient with yourself and your child. These skills can take time to develop as they can with all people.
*The idea of “the dignity of risk” that disability advocates use, refers to a person’s right to make their own choices and take some risks in order to learn, grow and improve their quality of life.
Wisconsin Self-Determination Resources:
InControl Wisconsin | Self Directed Support, An organization that aims to play a key role in advancing self-directed supports and promoting best practices in Wisconsin.
Self-Determination Channel – YouTube, This channel has self-determination videos created by and for self-advocates.
Self-Determination (SD) Network, This resource is an online network to create and support self-determination
INFORMATION AND RESOURCES
Wisconsin Wayfinder: Children’s Resource Network, 877-WiscWay (877-947-2929): Wisconsin Wayfinder offers families one name and phone number to find services for children with special health care needs. Wayfinder connects you to a resource guide at one of the five Children’s Resource Centers in your area.
Family Voices of Wisconsin, 2019© | familyvoiceswi.org